I've been overwhelmed lately at the closings of so many chapters in life. Life has a way of JUST HAPPENING without my approval or consent. In the past month I have received tons of graduation announcements and birthdays and celebrations. All marking the ending of something or the beginning of something new. I don't like change. I'm the queen of liking everything to say the exact same forever, even if... it's not practical. Even if, it makes no sense.
When I received graduation announcements for my friends CHILDREN, it hit especially hard. These little guys are all grown up. I don't know when that happened. I remember the night that Kaylee Roseanne Ivy and Katrina Anne McKennon were born. (First of all it should be noted they were named after me...jus sayin!) Kaylee was born first and she was born in the very middle of the night. I remember staying up and watching "Beaches" on VHS. If you don't know the story, it's about a woman who has to raise her best friends baby after her friend dies of cancer. DUMBEST movie to watch EVAH when a friend is having a baby. ( I would like to take this time to thank both Tara and Stephanie for NOT dying of cancer and making me raise your children. I'm sure it would have been QUITE the fiasco) Anyways, I remember going to sleep... near dawn, and feeling the oddest thing. It wasn't until years later I could define what it was. To me, Kaylee and Katie were the first people I ever loved, without ever having met them. I loved them completely from the day they were born. I didn't get to be there, but I knew, I just knew... they were going to be remarkable children and they were going to have some remarkable mothers.
So, occasionally I start to tear up a lil (which I do NOT do) and I watch as this big wide door swings open for people that I love. Children that grew into teenagers and then ... when I wasn't looking... Beautiful grown women. I'm ready to watch the amazingness. I will yell loudly from the fan stands, along with your mothers. You got this. You are Perfect. You are loved. You are going to make mistakes... but some words of advice from Aunty Cat... If you make mistakes, learn from them. If you fall, GET UP. Dance. Maybe even DANCE a lot. Actually in fact, you should ALWAYS Dance. And Be Happy. I love you , along with a host of people that can not possibly even be counted. BE You. Whatever that is, will be perfect.
So, I put my kiddos to bed tonight.. and we chanted our ritual " I love you, I love you, I love you all the waaaay to the moon... and then darlings, I love you all the way right back." I know it's just a matter of time before they are grown and so I sit, and glory in the fact that I have just a little while longer with them. And I hold it tight.
Soo... anyways, I think the biggest think I hope for you, is Love. Love is actually what I think it's all about.
Just Remember :
"You've got to give a little, take a little, and let your poor heart break a little.
That's the story of, that's the glory of love."
"You've got to laugh a little, cry a little,
until the clouds roll by a little. That's the story of, that's the glory of love." ...
The other day I was driving... to somewhere VERY important I'm sure.. and there it was. An old beat up van with duct taped windows and on it was a sign that said "Catitude". It was inscribed with tacky, faded bubble lettering and it was AWESOME. For the thousandth time I wished I had a phone that wasn't crappy so I could've taken a picture... but alas as it drove off... I found myself at an intersection... laughing like a loon. The reality is I do believe that's what I have today. A Catitude. Why isn't that a word that is used more often?
Catitude - 1)an attitude in which all those who mind don't matter and all those matter don't mind. 2) Imma jus gonna be me.. so there. 3) To heck with it 4) An attitude occasionally accompanied by a dirty mouth.
Something about this next couple of weeks is a bit daunting to me. I realize it's not so hard when it's boiled down. One step.. then another step... and Repeat. Yet... still daunted. I think I'm going to need every bit of attitude that I have to survive it... I realize that my week compared to some is very insignificant. Simple REALLY. I have friends dealing with all kinds of hard situations. Keeping that in mind however, A man I very much admire once said "Honey, just because that man has a broken leg, doesn't mean your splinter doesn't hurt as well". I must agree. My splinter is tough this week. I think it might be gangrene or something... terrible. Real Terrible. But.. one step, then one more step.. and repeat...with attitude. Or Catitude as the situation calls for.
So, I've turned the proverbial music up. I''ve rolled my hypothetical windows down. I've got the pedal to the metal people. I'm ready. Me and my Catitude. Join me won't you? It'll be fun. Let's do this. I'm Jus Sayin.
