Another day older and deeper in debt

        I stopped being excited about birthdays around 25. I started disliking them around 30, and I absolutely lost my CRAP last year when I turned 32. How did this happen? I'm older, and it just keeps happening. Now, getting older isn't all bad. I have a much larger selection of shoes. I have excellent credit. I have reeeeeallly excellent insurance coverage. I have better hair.. And... most importantly..the rumor is.. I'm supposed to be wiser. I don't feel wiser. In fact, I feel like I should definitely know more to be this age. I should know stuff about stuff. Meaningless but "I'm in my thirties, so I know that" stuff.  Like what an amortization rate is and what is the gestation rate of whales... ( I don't know these things, obviously)  I went to a doctors appointment the other day and they told me I was 5 '5 3/4... Um, EXCUSE me.. I am 5 '6. That's what the license says.  Am I shrinking already? Uncool. I guess I'm hopeful that this year contains fun, and love, and a little more wisdom. I'm hopeful that it contains girls nights out, and hugs from my loved ones, and the occasional ice cream cone. I'm hopeful that it contains a bright light at the end of the tunnel that is NOT a oncoming TRAIN. Also, in related news, I'm hopeful that I grow 1/4 of an inch. Because my license says 5 '6.. and by GOD that's how tall I am. Jus sayin.

Weell.....it's THAT time of year....

Yep. It's Fall. yay. Skippy. dippy. etc... I don't get excited like everyone else does anymore. First of all ... let's be honest, winter fashion isn't as fun as there are WAY more layers... and it COMING. The COLD. It's on it's WAY. EWE. I don't love it. Why does everyone love it? What about open toed shoes and strappy tops? For the love of GOD WHY? I understand why some love that football starts again. Football and I have made our peace. I've watched approximately enough to tell you what works, what defense is failing, and why...and... it couldn't mean less... because, I have decided I will no longer sit in the cold and SUFFER to watch a team. If you want me to root for you, you have to play from now until October and then I am OUT. Get someone else to yell for you, I will be home, with a BLANKET, waiting for the horror of winter to fade, which it WON"T for the next three to four months. EWE. Have I mentioned EWE?!?!  Soo.. what is it about fall that sucks everyone in? I think it's the promise... the "hey, come on, it will feel so gooooooood" line that fall uses to suck us in. It does not. Nu huh.  Not when January hits and there is no HOPE evah of new cute strappy shoes... ( I tend to get a lil dramatic, but you get the point) Anyways... Boo Fall. I can't wait for SUMMER to come back around. The land of bathing suites, and cute strappy shoes, and crazy tops and... did I mention the amazing shoes??... Anyways, Fall is here, it's THAT time of year. Yippy, skippy... please excuse me as I cry hysterically and cling to my fun shoes... jus sayin.

Like Nancy Reagan said...Just say NO...

I can't say no. I've tried. It starts to come out...nnnn..... and then turns out all yyyyeeessss.... I'm working on this because frankly, I'm exhausted. I am pretty much a full time student, a full time mom, and I just found out that I'm going to be room mom for my sons preschool class. I didn't know this of course, it was a SURPRISE.. An honor actually... but..still....OMGEEZZZ... because, on top of not being able to say NO ever... I have no organizational skillz to speak of. I love people.I'm a social gal. It's true... but I can't organize them worth a flip. I am the person that takes ten shifts on field day, because I'm just too tired of trying to figure out who can help. And frankly, I don't like to ask... because someone might say...NO... and then I'll be all impressed and jealous and stuff. I have decided after some very good advice to say NO to the very next thing I'm asked to do....till I get asked to do it, and then I'll cave like a three hour diet.... Anyways, my point isn't to whine. No really, it's to VENT.. LOTS of mommas out there are working twice as hard as me, but it's  because saying NO is a skill, one I'd like to have... soon, reeeeaaalll soon. So here is what I'm thinking. I'm gonna have a NO week. I'm going to say no to absolutely everything I am asked to do. Can I clean up? NO. Can I check your homework? NO. Can I cook you dinner? NO. Can I stop by the post office? Um, NO. Can I wipe your a$$?  Helllzzz NOOOO. I am thinking I'll get to around day three before I cave...but It could get reeeeaaal interesting round heah folks.... jus sayin.

What do angiosperms use to disperse the pollen

When I pull up a blank title on my blog, this is apparently the most used phrase. "What do angiosperms use to disperse the pollen?"  WTH? (H stands for heck...fyi) How did this happen. I went back to school is what happened. Dumb ambitions etc... I am studying to be a nurse. Why? Well, its sure as sh*t to late to be a doctor and that seemed like the next best thing. Do I want to be a nurse? Meh. It sounds okay, I mean... I like people, I like trauma, I like drama, it should work. But, if I got to pick... I would be .. something else. Something totally RAD. ( the word rad isn't used often enough, either is taboo, but that's a whole 'nother story) I would work with clothes and hair and make up. It would be me and a CLOSET full of amazingness everyday... Forevah and evah... (I understand this makes me shallow, I'm cool with that)   But, common sense wins out, as it unfortunately ALWAYS does, and nurse it is. Of course, one TINY lil detail... one TINY lil problem I didn't account for. I SUCK at science. Suck. Bad... Horrible...Not being modest....Covalent Bonding? Whuh? Does one wear a pump or high heel to that? Organelles? um, what color is that? Sounds purple...Anyways, on the eve of my next lab, I sit. I consider. I whine. I wish for a job in fashion. I pick out something super duper cute to wear.  And, then I keep calm and carry on. It's what I do. It's how I deal. And, if I look a lil vacant in the next lecture,don't worry,  I'm just picturing my next outfit... Jus sayin.

War.

I am a procrastinator. If it is something I don't want to do... I avoid it until the last possible minute. (ie: I should be writing a Sociology paper this very minute)  I am also at war. Over desk space.  There is a stack of papers there, I know they are there... I don't care to go through them. I'm sure some could be thrown away. I don't mind. I'm putting it off until I feel like it. Maybe when we move will be a good time? Maybe when pigs go past my window, flappin their brand new wings? Who can know? The Mister keeps putting them out on the table and LEAVING them there.. I suppose as a hint, that he would like me to take my time to go through them. Not a word is said, just a little passive aggressiveness from one to another. I politely decline and put them back. EVERY day this happens.This has been going on for about THREE months. Guess what? At this point I've decided they are my favorite papers in the WHOLE world and  they will be there till the Good Lord Jesus comes back. That is all.  I'm jus sayin.

Frogs and snails and puppy dog tails

When I was a kid, I was a boy. I lived around boys, I played with boys, and I'm pretty sure I smelled like boys. I played in the woods, jumped off dirt cliffs, owned my own pair of camos and had my own BB gun. But, one day, I discovered something called MAKE UP , and CLOTHES, and I never looked back. I think I then started to look AT boys, and that was the end of that.  I am now the girliest of girls and the only time I am near the woods is when I pass by them in my CAR.

Sooo... the irony is... I have BOYS. Lot's of em. In one of God's great cosmic hilarious jokes, I got only boys. Not a girl to be found at my house other than me. No one will get their nails done with me, no one will let me play with their hair, there is no "outfit discussion time" .. and there is a pretty persistent smell..One of those "SMELLS" that only boys seem to have when they are outside for more that 2 seconds. I often wonder how this could have happened. I didn't order two boys... I assumed the first would be a boy, the second would be a girl.. all would be perfect. Um, yeah, not so much... They are the very best, and they hold my heart,  but still... ALL BOYS. I am realizing however, that as the only female I hold all the cards. They don't know this of course, but I'm the boss... I mean, who is going to argue with that crazy GIRL lady? She is the only one of her kind in this alien planet and should be handled with care. I was speaking with a mother the other day that had two boys. (We boy moms tend to notice each other and give each other sympathetic looks in public) She noted that in her house even though she was outnumbered that she was the "Princess" and that she was learning to enjoy that.  I smiled. I laughed. Princess, hell honey. I'm the QUEEN. Jus sayin.

Omigoodness....

Soo here is the deal. I didn't take the USUAL path.. whatever that may be. I'm an odd duck. I've come to realize that it is NOT the norm to be me. I think this is OK though.. I mean.. who else am I gonna be at this point anyways? Soo... I go to college in my THIRTIES and sit in cute little desks around cute little people and to be honest... I enjoy their company. There is a certain joy to being young that I had forgotten. Somewhere in between building THE empire and making all the RIGHT decisions.. I forgot that part of happy. Young people, most of them anyways, know how to be joyful. The kind of joy before they get all knocked around by life and don't want to get out of bed in the morning... I think it makes me younger, and it certainly makes me appreciate the JOY a little more. I remember to roll down my windows and play the music loud a little more often these days... because really, life is short. Too short to be so uptight. I'm learning...

 Soo.. to my point. I have people. I have THOSE people. The people that you love, but for some reason or another say THOSE things... the things that make . you. crazy. "You look sooo tired" has GOT to be one of my faves.  Omigooodness..I hate this phrase. It means.. you look like SH*T. I know this. I am a mom of two CRAZY kids. I'm aware that my mascara runs from time to time and I have the "omigosh, if I step on a lego one more time, someone is going to PAY"  look on my face. I know. I know. I know. I try and look non- haggard when out and about, but there are DAYS. I mean those days, when you aren't sure.. you know  Reeeaaallly not sure.. if you can survive. I mean, you always do, maybe making some mistakes along the way. (I'm going to start putting money away now for the counseling I'm SURE the kids are going to need later) But.. to my point. Don't say "you look so tired " to me. It's annoying. And BTW - of COURSE I'm tired. It's like in my job description. If I looked all HAPPEH all the time.. I would be on serious medication, which I'm not ruling out.  Anyways, I know. I know I look tired. Pointing it out to me isn't the most helpful thing you can do. Offer me caffeine or alcohol...that's helping. Offer me drugs.. meds... that's helping. Anyhow..you need to know if you do utter that dire "You look so tired" <insert sympathetic surprise face... Please expect a "Well, bless your heart" and if you are a true Southern gal.. you know what that means. I'm jus sayin.